Bleeding Us Dry ..........

Something a bit lighter in vein as my last pre-christmas post. I have always wanted to have a rant at the taxman and this could be his reply to my letter:



H.M Customs and Excise
PO BOX --
-------n

Tax Ref …/……/….. 18-12-2006

Dear Mr ……,
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last correspondence as a "begging letter". It might perhaps be more properly referred to as a "tax return".
Secondly, your frustration at our adding "to the endless stream of faecal whining and panhandling spewed daily through the letterbox onto the doormat" has been noted. However, while i have not seen the other letters to which you refer, i would cautiously suggest that being from "Pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant Gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.
It may be true that your taxes "go to shore up the liberal-blighted folly that is the Public Services in Britain. However, less than you imagine is spent on "junkets for brown-nosed lickspittles" and "Ilegal immigrants with boxes of matches and Sky TV".
A couple of points arising from your direct queries:
1: The reason we don’t simply write "muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the British postal system.
2: You can rest assured that "sucking the blood of those with nothing left to give" has never been considered as a practise within Customs and Excise.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give up the whole foul rat-race and go and live in a tepee in Scotland" you would still owe us the money.
Please forward it by return.

Yours Sincerely

A. Leech , Customer Relations




Happy Christmas and New Year to you all!