Monday, 15 January 2007

An Ants Tale - Bitter?

After seeing "The Squirrel and the Grasshopper" article on the BNP and Me site, i dug this old one out of my files. I hope it entertains you.

The Ants Tale:
CLASSIC VERSION:The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END


THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.(so far, so good, eh?). The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table laden with food. The Labour government are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites with Starving Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party, the Coalition against Poverty and the We Want What They Have Without Doing Anything To Earn It Party demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the Ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, backdated to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed backdated taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council. The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company (funded by the EU), although within weeks, his business is threatened with compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant. The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.00. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose; the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operation and terrorize the community.
THE END


Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"the Battle of Britain is about to begin... Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth should last a thousand years, men will still say: This was their finest hour".
(Extract from speech delivered on 18th June 1940)

2 comments:

Anti-gag said...

Interesting blog. I did enjoy the article, and it’s good to see this type of post rather than just cut and paste jobs so prevalent in other blogs, see Lancaster UAF’s attempt it’s all pasted from other sites, RUBBISH!

Your site is what blogging should be about, the bloggers own work. Well done I’ll be back on a regular basis..

Tony said...

Thanks for your comments.
Tony