Thursday, 1 February 2007

Retirement Bonus

If this doesn't make you laugh, you have had a humour bypass!

The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out witha bonus of £72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000.The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzled old Sergeant who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my privates to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old NCO insisted and they decided to go alongwith him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the NCO to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the NCOs privates and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old NCO calmly replied, "South Georgia in the Falklands."

Bad taste i know, but it made me laugh.

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